Multi-faceted actor and former rapper, Will Smith has a highly anticipated memoir, Will coming out next week on Nov. 7. In the forthcoming tome, the Men In Black actor discusses that he once had thoughts about killing his father because of an incident in his youth where he witnessed his father, Willard C. Smith Sr., physically attack his mother, Caroline Bright.
According to People, the 53-year-old artist unveiled that his father had been abusive to his mother when he was younger and before his father passed away in 2016 of cancer, thoughts of homicide crossed his mind as he briefly plotted revenge for what the 76-year-old man did to his mother.
In the book, Will talked about the complex relationship he experienced with his father who raised him, and his three siblings with their mother in Philadelphia. Although his father was at every event, game, play, and recital while Will was growing up and had been very supportive throughout his career, he was violent and an alcoholic. He did show up “sober at every premiere of every one of” Will’s movies. The actor also wrote “He listened to every record. He visited every studio. The same intense perfectionism that terrorized his family put food on the table every night of my life.”
He also wrote that when he was nine years old, he witnessed his father strike his mother on the side of her head so hard that she fell. She spat out blood and after seeing that in their bedroom, it “probably more than any other moment” in his life defined who he was.
He wrote that years later after he became successful, despite all the rewards and accolades, he had subtly apologized to his mother for his inaction when that incident took place. Years later, after his father had been diagnosed with cancer, the feelings he had in earlier years towards his father and the resentment resurfaced once again.
“One night, as I delicately wheeled him from his bedroom toward the bathroom, a darkness arose within me. The path between the two rooms goes past the top of the stairs. As a child I’d always told myself that I would one day avenge my mother. That when I was big enough, when I was strong enough, when I was no longer a coward, I would slay him.”
“I paused at the top of the stairs. I could shove him down, and easily get away with it. As the decades of pain, anger, and resentment coursed then receded, I shook my head and proceeded to wheel Daddio to the bathroom.”
After his father died in 2016, Smith reflected on the turbulent relationship between him and his father and what it taught him about finding true fulfillment.